No I’m not talking about the latest version of Fifty Shades of Grey, but rather a spankworthy pair of compression pants made by the team at Cheeta Recovery. I hadn’t known a lot about this brand until I found myself searching all the different methods to aid recovery and they popped up as ‘Australia’s comfiest compression wear’. I thought hang about sunshine – you mean compression wear can actually be comfortable? I always felt like compression garments required the skill of a contortionist to get into, and that once in it, if you had any sort of wobbly bits around the waist that they just pushed it all up so you were left looking like a fat giraffe with skinny legs and a gigantic muffin top. I felt like compression wear was designed with the elite athlete in mind who had 0% body fat, and no lovely bits around their waist. Putting all judgements aside though – when I saw that the cost of a pair of Cheeta shorts weren’t going to send me broke like a smashed avo sandwich I bit the bullet and bought a pair.
The first plus was that they arrived really quickly. As anyone that lives in the sticks would know, getting mail isn’t always easy, so when something arrives within a week it’s pretty impressive. Ok so perhaps that has more to do with the express post satchel it came in, but I’ll give Cheeta some of the credit too. Ok, so once they were in my hot little hands I had to get myself into them. Pulling them from the pack I thought ‘these will barely fit my ankle let alone get over both my thunder thighs’ – but sure enough they did. I made sure I wasn’t all kinds of sweaty before attempting the squeeze, but in hindsight I don’t think it would of mattered, for I just pulled them up and the little fabric fibres stretched until they were up over my lovely bits. Obviously they didn’t go on like butter onto toast, and they did need a bit of adjusting, but I was surprised at how little jumping, bending and contorting was required. Just like that all the wobbly bits were put in their place, falling into line and into formation. And when I ran my hand over my butt, it was like there were no cellulite dimples on it all! Smooth and sleek all the way.
Once I’d tested the bad boys out, and realised that I did in fact love the way they fit and how comfortable they were to run in, I got to thinking about how I could get this Aussie company involved in Running for Bums. Knowing I was going to go through a few pairs of pants between now and Cape York, I thought it only right that I give Cheeta the option to come on board with the challenge through mutually beneficial sponsorship. I knew I loved the product, and as long as they loved what I had to offer them, I thought it was a win:win.
Now, as anyone who has ever tried to source sponsorship would know, it is really, really hard to get noticed and to provide something left of centre to the company you are approaching. How then was I to do it? The only talent that I could think of for how to stand out was to use my writing skills and catch their attention that way. As a side note, if there is one piece of advice I can offer to anyone seeking support for anything, please, for heaven’s sake, buy the product and try it for yourself before you ask for their help. Anyway, back to the discussion at hand and how I caught the eye of Cheeta. Put simply, I wrote them a love letter. Cringe worthy? Yes. Successful? Definitely. Let’s just say that I took things slowly, but dangled enough out there that a chap named Jon was interested enough to send a telegram back (ok it was an email – but I like to keep the romance alive). It’s possible things like the following may have been written in said love letter;
“I’m being honest here, I have always felt compression garments would do nothing but scrunch my lovely bits (aka love handles) and make me feel like a fat giraffe with skinny legs. Long story short, I liked the fact you are an Aussie company, and that according to your company statement I probably wouldn’t look like said giraffe when I put the shorts on, so I decided to give Cheeta a go.”
“…contrary to my initial thought, they glided on like 2 bits of skin smothered in body glide. There was no need for that weird hop like movement, and the waist band just went up and over my lovely bits. They were the perfect fit. Like a glove some would say.”
“I think we’d do really well in a relationship. I know it’ll be long distance, and mostly conducted via social media, but hey, that’s not too different to many relationships in today’s society anyway.”
“…I’m no elite athlete, and I do have lovely bits, but I’m a good cook & enjoy long runs in the sand dunes around Birdsville – isn’t that enough?”
“…the run is called Running for Bums (by the way you make my bum look really good).”
“I don’t want to seem too forward here because I know how that can be off putting, but I feel like we could have a real connection that’s more than just black fabric.”
“…even if you decided that a relationship with me wasn’t what you had in mind, you could always call just to say thanks for the letter, or to see how the weather’s going out here, or you know, whatever floats your boat.”
As you can tell, I’m pretty irresistible when it comes to the written word, and thus without missing a beat Cheeta were on board and ready to get behind my behind (and make it look good while they’re at it). I couldn’t be more excited about having the support of this great Aussie company while Running for Bums on the open road. They’ve even been kind enough to give me a discount code for you all to use when you want to get your legs into a pair of Australia’s comfiest compression wear (and it actually is really comfy). Just go to www.cheetarecovery.com.au and use the code r4b to get a cracking deal on their spankworthy compression wear.